1. How it usually happens
During a separation, everything that was shared suddenly becomes "to be divided". The animal often ends up in the middle: who keeps it, who sees it, who decides.
It happens that one of the two takes it away on impulse, more as a reaction than planning. In other cases, custody periods alternate without clear rules, creating confusion for everyone, especially the animal.
A recurring anecdote: a dog that previously had precise routines finds itself changing houses, schedules, and people within days. It starts eating less or being agitated. The problem is not "who it stays with", but the lack of stability.
There is also a less obvious point of view: each person is convinced they are the best person for the animal. Documenting serves exactly to shift the discussion from "who is right" to "what was done and what actually works for them".
2. What you need to prove
Here it is useful to build a concrete trail of the actual management of the animal, over time.
It can be useful to prove:
- Who took care of the animal before and after the separation
- Where it lived and with what routine
- Living conditions (spaces, habits, care)
- Expenses incurred (food, vet, accessories)
- Communications on agreements between parties
- Any changes that impacted welfare
- Presence of shared or unilateral decisions
The goal is making actual management visible, not just intentions.
3. What to collect
Effective documentation is made of daily elements, collected consistently.
- Photos and videos of the animal in different living contexts
- Chat screenshots with relevant agreements or discussions
- Calendars or notes on stay times and moves
- Receipts of veterinary or maintenance expenses
- Health documents
- Photos of environments where it lives
- Any voice messages with instructions or decisions
A useful detail: simple photos of the routine (walks, meals, quiet moments) tell much more than "perfect" images.
4. How to proceed
The starting point is always the animal's welfare: stability, continuity, and clarity.
Try to put in writing, even simply, how it will be managed: times, places, responsibilities. Even if the agreement is temporary, having a shared basis helps.
- Write a summary of agreements and share it
- Document the animal's routine in different contexts
- Save all relevant communications
- Organise files in a clear folder
- Keep original files without modifying them
After gathering the material, you can use ExistBefore to timestamp it. This lets you have a clear reference of what existed and was done at that moment.
5. Mistakes to avoid
Some behaviours worsen the situation, even unintentionally.
- Using the animal as an instrument of pressure
- Changing routines frequently without reason
- Not documenting who does what over time
- Leaving agreements only verbal
- Keeping information disorganised
- Modifying or losing original files
A useful tip: treat the animal's management as a shared responsibility, even when the relationship has ended. Timestamping materials with a free attestation helps maintain an orderly trail that is usable if needed.
6. After documenting
Once the situation is organised, you can move with greater clarity.
- Discuss with the other person starting from concrete elements
- Evaluate solutions ensuring stability for the animal
- If necessary, involve mediators or associations
- Keep regular updates on their condition
- In case of difficulties, ask for support from animal behaviour professionals
Having clear documentation helps bring the discussion back to what truly matters: creating a stable, predictable, and sustainable situation for the animal over time.