1. How it usually happens
Private sales: an advert, a few messages, a quick agreement, and a payment. Often, everything happens on chats or platforms where the tone is informal, almost conversational.
Then the problems emerge. The buyer says "it's not like the photo", the seller replies "it was perfect when I shipped it". Or the payment is disputed, or someone changes their story along the way.
There is a curious aspect: in private sales, any detail "not clearly written down" becomes a point of contention. An ambiguous phrase like "in good condition" can mean very different things to two people.
On the seller's side, the risk is shipping an intact item and receiving a complaint. On the buyer's side, the risk is paying for something that only exists in photos. In both cases, memory is not enough: you need a trail.
2. What you need to prove
Here the key is reconstructing the agreement and what really happened before, during, and after the exchange.
You must be able to prove:
- what was promised (description, condition, accessories)
- what the item looked like before the sale or shipping
- what was actually received
- any differences or damages
- agreements on price, payment, and shipping
- communications between the parties
Basically, you must transform an informal conversation into a clear sequence of facts.
3. What to collect
Every useful element must be carefully saved, because in private sales, it is often the only evidence available.
- Screenshot of the original advert
- Photos published by the seller
- Complete chats between the parties (not just single messages)
- Any emails exchanged
- Proof of payment (receipt, bank transfer, app screenshot)
- Photos or videos of the item before shipping (for the seller)
- Video or photos of the unboxing (for the buyer)
- Images of any defects or discrepancies
- Shipping label and courier receipt
- Any written agreements on returns or conditions
A frequent anecdote: many people only save the last messages, usually the most heated ones. In reality, it is often in the early exchanges that the most important promises are found.
4. How to proceed
The strategy is simple: gather everything and organise it before starting any dispute.
At the beginning:
- Immediately save the advert, photos, and chats
- Make local copies of the most important content
If you are the seller:
- Document the item before shipping
- Record the packing and sealing of the parcel
If you are the buyer:
- Document the opening of the parcel
- Take photos of any problems immediately
Then:
- Organise the files in chronological order
- Give the files clear names (date + content)
- Always keep the originals
- Use ExistBefore to timestamp key files (chats, photos, videos, receipts)
When you are ready to dispute:
- Explain the facts linearly
- Attach only relevant, organised evidence
- Avoid impulsive or confusing messages
Imagine having to explain everything to a third party who knows nothing about the situation: the clearer you are, the less room for interpretation.
5. Mistakes to avoid
Some mistakes severely complicate managing the dispute:
- Relying only on memory or scattered messages
- Cropping screenshots, removing context and dates
- Modifying images or files without keeping the original
- Mixing evidence from different moments without order
- Reacting impulsively in chats
An important tip concerns completeness: an entire conversation is worth much more than isolated excerpts.
Timestamping files at the right moment allows you to maintain a coherent trail, ready to use at no cost.
6. After documenting
Once you have gathered everything, you can act with greater clarity.
- First try a direct resolution with the other party
- Use the platform's reporting tools, if available
- Involve your payment provider for any disputes
- Keep all documentation for future developments
- Consider seeking support from consumer protection associations
At this point, the confrontation changes tone: instead of conflicting opinions, you have a sequence of concrete elements telling the story of what happened.