1. How it usually happens
At first, it may seem like just a heated argument. Then the messages become persistent, arrive at odd hours, and change tone. Sometimes veiled threats appear, other times pressing demands or attempts at pressure.
In more complex cases, the person uses multiple channels: social media, emails, messaging apps. Or they delete and rewrite messages, modify content, change accounts. This creates a sense of instability: what you saw earlier might disappear later.
A disturbing aspect is the speed at which certain contents change. An offensive comment can be posted, seen by a few, and deleted within minutes. Without a saved trail, it is as if it never existed.
From the harasser's point of view, volatility is an advantage. From your point of view, the continuity of the documentation becomes essential.
Important warning
If the situation makes you feel unsafe or under pressure, cut off contact immediately, avoid replying, and contact the authorities or anti-violence support services available in your country.
If you suspect that the person threatening you has access to your messages or accounts, change all passwords immediately from a secure device.
This guide is for documenting, but does not replace professional help.
2. What you need to prove
Here, the point is not just the single message, but the context and repetition.
You must be able to prove:
- the content of the messages (text, images, audio)
- who sent them (profile, username, contact)
- the frequency and continuity over time
- any threats, pressure, or demands
- the context of the conversation
- any deletions or modifications
Basically, you are showing a coherent sequence of behaviours, not isolated episodes.
3. What to collect
The collection must be extensive and precise, because details make the difference.
- Full screenshots of chats (with visible name and date)
- Full chat exports as files
- Voice messages or received audio
- Emails and their headers
- Screenshots of involved profiles and accounts
- URLs of public content
- Photos or videos sent
- Screenshots of content later deleted (if available)
- Timeline of events (even manually annotated)
A small anecdote: people often save only the most serious messages, but it is the "surrounding" ones that give meaning and continuity to the situation.
4. How to proceed
You need a calm and methodical approach, even if the situation is stressful.
Before starting: if you suspect the harasser has access to your accounts, change your passwords immediately from a secure device.
As soon as you receive relevant content:
- Take full screenshots, without cropping parts
- Save any attached files
- Note date and context if necessary
Periodically:
- Export complete chats
- Organise files by date or platform
- Keep an intact original copy
To make the documentation stronger:
- Avoid modifying files
- Use ExistBefore to timestamp screenshots, chats, and key elements
- Update the collection every time something new happens
A useful method is to think in terms of a "timeline": every element fits into a clear temporal sequence.
5. Mistakes to avoid
Some behaviours can make evidence less effective:
- Deleting messages before saving them
- Taking screenshots without showing context
- Saving only isolated episodes
- Modifying or cropping images
- Mixing files randomly
An important tip concerns completeness: an entire conversation tells much more than single fragments.
Timestamping content the moment it is received allows you to maintain a coherent, usable trail at no cost.
6. After documenting
Once you have gathered the evidence, you can decide how to act.
- Use the platform's reporting tools
- Block or limit contact, if necessary
- Contact the support team of the involved service
- Keep everything for future developments
- Consider support from legal aid and judicial assistance services or associations
At this point, you are no longer describing a difficult situation with words: you have a concrete sequence of contents showing what happened over time.